Did you hear about this celebrity priest in Miami. Big scandal. The guy says he's got to choose between the woman he loves and the church he loves. This priest, Alberto Cutie, I guess he's on TV a lot. And he got caught by tabloid photographers kissing his 40-year-old girlfriend. They're saying it's a shocking violation of his celibacy vows. But a priest kissing a woman his own age? I call it shockingly normal.
That 50-game suspension baseball handed LA Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez is costing him a fortune. It's so bad, Ramirez is injecting himself with bailout funds.
I got my tax rebate. And guess what? It's taxable. It's like dealing with Tony Soprano.
Miss California may have to surrender her crown. Ever since Carrie Prejean won the pageant, she's been hit with scandals over breast implants and nude photos. Fake boobs? Nudie photos? I thought those were mandatory entry requirements for the Miss California pageant.
Miss California also caused a stir when she said she personally was against gay marriage. It was an honest answer. She thinks marriage is between a traditional union between a man and a woman. Like mine. I've been married for 25 years. I do all the shopping and cooking. I collect Fiestaware and antique egg beaters. There's nothing gay about it.
MIss Prejean's fate is going to be decided by that paragon, Donald Trump, who says that "she's a seriously good-looking woman." I think it's only fair that the final call will be made by a fake boob.
Kiefer Sutherland, the guy who plays anti-terrorist nut job Jack Bauer on '24,' is in trouble for head butting a fashion designer over the weekend. Keifer explained that he was preparing for the next season of '24,' in which he will foil a terrorist plot to force America's top models to wear burkas.
