How is Senator Arlen Specter preparing for his new career as a Democrat?
• Looking for Bible verses that allow hot man-on-man marriage.
• Replacing poster of Regan with head shot of Rachael Maddow.
• Ordering copy of "Socialism for Dummies" on Amazon.
• Volunteering to answer GM warranty hotline phone at White House.
• Burgers with Biden.
• Checking Senate health care program to see if it covers surgical removal of his conscience.
• LIghting Obama's cigarettes.
• Getting lips in shape to kiss plenty of Democratic donor ass.
• Putting a few Bush zIngers into stump speech.
• Loading i-Pod with Springsteen.
• Forcing himself to give a crap about working stiffs.
• Canceling appearance with Joe the Plumber; setting up photo op with Zoe the lesbian ACLU lawyer.
• Promising PETA that he'll lead boycott of KFC.
• Backing down on his call to deport Mexican flu virus.
• Clinging desperately to power.
