Kicking The Dog

To bring you up to date on recent events:
•Nick "Sewer Boy" Ciani is doing well after his semi-emergency triple bypass. But he won't be playing any gigs for two months. At least.
•The Hilltop Tavern cancelled our gig on Saturday, March 10, because they don't have the right license for live entertainment. We got this news on Friday.
Now for new events:
On Saturday, I woke up to this e-mail from our bass player, known to Geezer Rock readers as "Player X."
Dean and Kenton:
With all the delays we are having I think it is best for me to leave the band KDOG at this time. When it first joined, we appeared to be close to performing twice a month. Now it could be months before we'd be ready to do 4 & 1/2 hours at a club. I'm not sure you guys wanted to do clubs.
I guess Player X felt he joined on the condition that we'd gig regularly. We can't live up to that, so he's out.
And then, depression set in.
Now, we are down to a White Stripes line up: guitar and drums.
We were going so well too. Now our momentom us totally destroyed. Or is it?
"And if you got hit by a bus tomorrow, KDOG would go on as a solo act, just a four-hour drum solo" our friend Dave Mering told me. "Nothing will stop him!"
Player X represents the fifth KDOG bass player in the past 18 months.
"Is it us?" KDOG asked. "Is it me?"
Bad chemistry is the biggest factor. Nobody really clicks. Other complaints seem to be:
•Kenton is an asshole.
•Nick is as asshole.
•Dean's not good enough. He's also an asshole.
•Hate playing blues all night. Need more Elvis numbers to be "artistically satisfied."
•"I'm too good for this band."
•KDOG not serious/professinal enough
•"I'm an in-demand bassist. I don't need this shit. I could be making literally several dollars a night with another band."
•"I don't have time to wait for people to recover from major surgery."
•"You guys suck. I'm great."
•"Where's my money?"
•Bad luck.
•Bad timing.
•Too many weird songs.
•I hate playing in bars.
•I like playing in bars, but not with you clods
•"I'm in this for the money."
•"I need at least gas money."
•"This is not fun. I'm a serious musician."
•"The Stoney Inn is too scary."
•"You guys are too needy. I'm not helping you move the PA and all that shit around. I'll show up at the gig - and you're lucky I'm doing that much."
•"All three of you form one mega-asshole."
•"I know the songs better than you guys do and I've only been in the band for a month."
•"You can't even play your own original songs right."
•"It's the same thing every rehearsal: Dean yells at Kenton. Kenton yells at Nick. No wonder Nick needs a fucking bypass."
•"It's best for me to leave the band. Who cares what happens to you guys?"
•"When the going gets tough, I get going - right out the door!"
•"There is no "I" in team, but there is "me." There is also "eat," "mat," "tea," "at" and "meat." If "team" had another "e," you'd have a anagram for "eat me."
This points to what a delicate arrangement a band is. The web of personal relationships is as fragile as spun sugar.
I thought Player X was willing to make a go of it, too. Even after Nick went into the hospital, Player X re-did the set list to suit the new power trio format. I thought that was a protactive move that displayed a good attitude. He'd been trying to get us more organized and presentable, less off the cuff, but I guess he figures his talent and energies are better deplyed in a different situation. Player X had kind of been beating over the head with his years of gigging experience. I guess it was wasted on us.
I suggest that before he joins his next band that he request up-to-date medical records on all the members so he's not inconvenienced by the "it's all about me" types who insist on having major surgery when they know there are important gigs coming up.
Kenton and I tried to notify everybody we knew who was planning on coming Saturday night, but a lot of people showed up only to find that the only band consisted of the little people who live inside the jukebox.
When they learned of Player X's departure, most "Dog Heads" simply shrugged and said, "Well, if that's his attitude, I guess it's better you find out now."
I don't undertand this platitude. "Now" is exactly when I didn't want to find out. If the Hilltop solves its problems with the city code in the next two weeks, we don't have a band.
I am through recruiting people of Craig's List, too. Every player on there is mostly concerned with paying gigs. They want that fifty bucks. Kenton and I bought the PA and pay for the rehearsal space, so we're not clearing a dime, but I guess that's our decision and our problem.
All we need is a good player about our age who want to play the music and have fun. Is that so hard?
Yes, it is.
I have to remember that you can't change the other guy, you have to change yourself. This is the key to making any situation work. The questions is, what can we change about ourselves? The answer is, a lot.
•More musical discipline - in rehearsal and performance.
•Learn more about getting better live sound.
•Improve interpersonal skills. (Less stupid, pointless, stupid, idiotic, pointless, repetetive fights.)
•Find a new way to find bass players. Network, rather that put an ad on Craig's List.
This is hardly the first time somebody quit a band. Now we've got an opportunity to find the right guy. Another opportunity. To be specific a "sixth" opportunity. Each one as been the dreaded "learning experience."
©2007 Edward Dean Chance. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Comments

[Fitz Miller]

get a platoon of base players like six, and have them all ready to play. each practice for an hour a week. Pick best one for each gig. You have to practice more but you have two to five base players on deck. If they run into each other they will always be someones cousin that wants to sit in sometime. Call tom andrews he can play at least once this year.